Here we go again.

I started my blog a year ago and am sorry to say haven't really kept up with it. Despite my best efforts I find that I just never have the time to sit and write, no matter how much I would like to. What do I write about? What is interesting? Will people think I'm crazy if I really do write what's on my mind? Well, it's two in the morning and I can't sleep. Working night shifts over the last two nights has thrown off my sleeping pattern and here I sit. I was laying in bed, wide awake, thinking about everything that was bothering me. As I lay there I kept getting more and more worked up until I got to the point where I had to get out of bed. I know I am very blessed with what I have, but at the same time I feel frustrated. I have worked very hard for everything that I have, I put a lot of effort in to my life and it makes me angry to see other people handed everything. My sister, for instance, doesn't work for anything. Her in-laws give her the van she drives, they pay for most of the upgrades in her house. She has a job as a housekeeper at a resort and makes minimum wage. Everyone dotes on her and my parents excuse for giving her everything is that "she will never have what you have". I'm tired of people getting handed things while everyone else has to work their ass off to get it. What is so wrong with a little hard work? I hate to be negative, but I feel like the world has gone soft. No one cares about anyone else anymore, it is all about them. Everyone wants instant gratification and have forgotten what's it's like to do the work to get there. I work in an emergency department where I often see people on the worst days of their lives. Their loved one dies, they are diagnosed with a brain tumour, they are involved in a horrific accident. I deal with a lot of shit and have to suck it up and put on a happy caring face, which I have a hard time doing when I'm away from work. I hate fake people, why can't everyone just be genuine, if you don't like someone stay away from them!! Don't pretend to be something that you're not, be yourself.

Hello

I'm new to the whole concept of blogging, so I want to be upfront about that. Over the last few months I have felt a need to be able to vent and I thought, why not have an audience while I do it. I'm not sure how interesting this will be, for all I know I may be the only one reading this blog, but at least I have provided a venue for myself to express how I feel. Let me introduce myself. I'm a thirty-three year old female, I'm married and I am a mother of three. My kids are 4, 3, and 1. I have been married to my husband for six years and times, especially over the last year, things with us have been trying. My husband, who was a factory worker, lost his job while our son was just shy of two months. He went back to school in May which has been difficult for all of us.